Tuesday, November 28, 2017



 Ever heard of a guy named David Sheppard? He was one of the original members of an improv group called The Compass in Chicago. He moved to New York City to start improv groups. Then David, a Protestant, wanted diversity and went looking for Puerto Ricans (rap begins to a slow beat of a human head against a wall) He came up to me and I thought he was either trying to pick me for sex or recruit me for the next X Men movie. Piss off, I snarled with a cockney that made him swoon over the fact I had talent as opposed to the no talented Puerto Ricans he rounded up that wanted to name themselves Tequila Sunrise. I'm sorry. Are you Puerto Ricans Mexicans? I named the group Tony And Maria's Video Bodega and Sheppard proclaimed me a genius thus adding gasoline to the fires of jealousy. After a failed assassination attempt, we performed at The Blue Note before a white audience that went crazy for me as did my Jewish girlfriend, 'Annie Sprinkle' who was like a character in a soft porn movie as if directed by Woody Allen. Where was I? Right. I killed that night in more ways than one. (Overhead Camera zooms up to reveal Dan standing in the middle of dead Puerto Rican wannabe comedians.) Improv saved my life. I support you in your desire to form a cyber improv group Tom Smith. I suggest you and your group bone up on Letters To The Editor in old magazines of The National Lampoon which I visited on Madison Avenue when I was 14 years old. They thought I was a Puerto Rican out to rob Harvard educated white people instead of someone who wanted to learn the art of satire. Didn't get a job but I did make money selling them Heroin. Racist motherfrakkers